maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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