with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
We need to get me chipped asap
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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