i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
