the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
