Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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