how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
