Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
