hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize