so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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