so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
