we made out on top of his cat.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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