My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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