Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
