Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
