what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
