We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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