SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
