She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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