We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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