Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
