he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
