can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
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