Nicole vs. Life
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
