just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
