Duck Duck Cougar?
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
