Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
