we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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