Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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