you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
