Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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