she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Randomize
