just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
