Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
