Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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