Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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