i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
