Soap is not a condiment
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
