Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
