i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
