She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
