i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Shame is for Republicans.
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