I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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