The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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