why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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