Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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