You really coming over, don't trick.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
