belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
