I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
My pussy is not your playground.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
