Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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