im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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